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Yup, I have some for the first time in about a month... about an hour actually while I wait for the NYS commissioner of education to finish babbling about all this race to the top drivel that is all the rage at the moment... and which, coincidentally, nobody gives a crap about. but I digress...

So our little Dexter man will be four months old in about a week. It's amazing how little you notice change without anything to compare it to... To me, he's a bit longer and a bit chubbier than he was a couple months ago, and he babbles and drools a bit more but that's about it. Then I got to looking at some of his photos... leapin' lizards batman! he's a giant now! Thinking back, he's a heck of a lot more vocal now too... Ok, maybe not MORE vocal... perhaps differently abled vocally? instead of the 2 cries he's been doing since birth: Waaaaaa (I'm pissed, hungry, wet, poopy, have gas, etc, etc, etc) and WaaAAAAAAAAAH (I'm hurting and/or scared), he now gurgles, coos, calls out for attention and substitutes a kind of squeal for laughter. He smiles and imitates, and has added a long droning "I'm so bloody tired I can't see straight" cry. He's also working on some...but not all... of his motor skills... up-up arms are the biggest ones. He's gotten to the point where he'll respond to "up-up" by reaching up or out to be picked up about 2/3 of the time. pretty cool. what he hasn't bothered with is ANYTHING that has to do with him being face down... he absolutely despises it. Which again you don't really notice progress (or lack thereof) without comparison. for instance the boy at daycare that's 2 weeks older than Dex and is rolling from his back to his belly and swim-crawling off his play mat already... Yeah, I know a lot can happen in two weeks, but as a parent you start to question your qualifications, and just what the heck the other kid's parents are doing that I'm not. Sigh... does that make me a bad father? geez I hope not. It's a tough thing to impress upon a 3 month old... peer pressure doesn't work : "Look Dex, your buddy can crawl off his mat... I bet you can't do that". No reverse logic either: "Dexter Orion! don't you dare roll over and crawl off that mat!" Begging gets you nowhere: "Pretty please roll over and crawl over here?" in the end, all efforts are met with the same response as rolling him over by hand and propping him up on his arms or a rolled up towel (or just flat on the floor).... Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! degenerating into a 20 minute temper tantrum...
But like all things, it'll come with time.... I hope.

Ok, so this has turned more into a rant than a blog entry about Dexter. Aside (or in spite of) all my parenting insecurities, he's actually pretty much up to par for a 3-4 month old. He didn't get the short genes from my side of the family... his torso is so long he's wearing 6-9mos size feety pajamas! anything smaller and he looks like the hunchback of notre dame... We've begun to dabble a bit with rice cerial and he kind of likes it, so in a week or two, will probably move towards some more solid foods at least one meal out of the day. He has survived 2 trips to the finger lakes (7 hours one way) and actually he last one didn't really even mess up his schedule too badly... so all in all, not bad for his first couple months out of the gate.

Yes, I know a whole month has gone by... but as you veteran kid wranglers know, life with a little one is much like Nascar... long periods of mind numbing boredom where nothing happens, punctuated by brief moments of sheer terror... ok, well not terror in this case, but you get the point. 

Things have been trucking along... Dexter's getting a little longer. He's now in the 70^th percentile for length in his age group. He's also slowly packing on the baby fat, tipping the scales at 12 pounds even. Well, at least he won't be assigned an obesity counselor for a few more months.
Sigh... without getting into a political debate, let's just agree that too much of a good thing, ceases to be a good thing. Recent healthcare reform brings us:

The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) recommends that clinicians screen
children aged 6 years and older for obesity and offer them or refer them to comprehensive,
intensive behavioral interventions to promote improvement in weight status.

Great... in theory, except that screenings are based on body mass index (BMI), which the CDC directs pediatricians to use because it "is an inexpensive and easy-to-perform method of screening" regardless of the fact even the medical community admits is flawed, nearly to the point of uselessness. I'll say it once again, it's not the children that need counseling... it's the parents that need a good smack upside the head so they'll actually do their job, so that doctors and educators don't have to do it for them! Yes, that's a generalization... there are a small percentage of cases where a child (or adult) can eat small portions of perfectly healthy meals and still be overweight, but seriously, feeding your 3 year old chicken nuggets, pizza, and mac & cheese, washed down with a mountain dew 5 or 6 days a week, may be bloody convenient for mom and dad, but is just plain unhealthy for the child... Take the extra 10 minutes to throw a couple pieces of chicken on the grill, and show your kid the water faucet once in a while... you'll all be better off!

Ok.... Ummm... Rant finished.
Not really where I intended to go with this post, but as my boss and co-workers will no doubt attest to, the filter between my brain and mouth (or keyboard in this case) is completely gone! Anyway, on with the story... The only real drama in the last month or so, was Dexter's 2 month doctor's appointment. At 2 months, they immunize children against about a dozen preventable diseases. all well and good, except that some children's bodies don't take kindly to it. With Dexter, for instance, his little legs and feet swelled up like sausages and hurt any time you touched them. Add to that a fever, and 8 hours of inconsolable wailing interrupted by 10 minute periods of fitful sleep, and it makes for a very long night for mom and dad! To make matters worse, he didn't really stop crying after that... he continued on and off and started spitting out his bottle and gnawing on the nipple with the side of his mouth, which brought us to our next bit of news... Little Dexter is apparently an early developer in some respects, as close inspection of his mouth revealed a little white bump on this upper gums. It's distinctly tooth shaped, and causing him to drool all over and gnaw on everything like a zombie looking for brains! No rest for the wicked I suppose... and he'll probably be one of those kids who works on that first tooth for the next 3 months before it finally breaks through. oh well   what can you do?

That's about all that's going on in Dexter Land at the moment... We'll keep you posted.

So yeah, it's been awhile, but I must admit that I'm a relatively poor typist with 2 hands, much less one handed with a fussy wiggling kid in the other. Currently I am being afforded the luxury of having both hands free while dexter reclines unconscious in a little front carrier I bought just for that purpose... I know it seems silly to walk around the house with a kid strapped to you like you were going on a hike, but personally I don't really care! He's happy as a clam, and I have 2 free hands!

Well, I'm sure everyone is interested in an update on the reflux, poop, and thrush sagas, so on with the story...
The reflux is gone! Thanks to modern medicine and the wonders of Zantac, we are completely devoid of she sound of choking gurgles followed by a horrible face and an hour of screaming... He now has a nasty habit of blurping up a mouthful of milk every time you burp him, but he doesn't seem to care... what the pediatricians call a 'happy spitter'. We can definitely live with that!

The poop has figured itself out as well... We finally found a formula that doesn't eat his stomach, and still allows him to poop like a baby, instead of producing marbles. After trying about 4-5 different brands and types of formula, we finally settled on nestle (now owned by Gerber) Good Start formula. We tried the Sam's brand that was supposed to be the same as the Enfamil, and Hannaford brand that was supposed to be the same as the Similac Gentile, and both produced new forms of rock poop, so we're stuck paying the big bucks... The Good Start is priced about the same as the other major brands, between $21 and $24 for a can that lasts about a week, but if it works and he's happy, I'm willing to pay the ridiculous price for a can full of corn syrup and powdered milk.... 

The Thrush?... well, that's another story.... We just finished a 7 day course of Fluconozole that was supposed to stop it cold... well, I got news for you: this stuff is tougher than it looks... The new meds did abate it quite a bit, but it still seems pretty well rooted on the back of his tongue... not a thick carpet like the first time, but it's there. Several people have suggested gentian violet, but I'm a bit hesitant to go that route as there have been various studies linking it's use to mouth cancer... we'll have to wait and see, and perhaps explore other options...

On a positive note, the smile to scream ratio has been steadily improving over the last week or two. it's nice to finally have one of those "real" infants you see on TV :-) He's also put on enough baby chub to fit in his cloth diapers!!! We started using them last night, and aside from being a bit more difficult to determine pee saturation levels, they're almost easier than disposables... HOORAY! and welcome to a new era of old school!

For years now, we have been barraged with safety recalls from the CPSC.  They have recalled all manner of things; from cribs that fall apart, to dolls that catch fire, and Chinese candy made entirely of lead. Granted that this agency tends to be overprotective at times... for instance car seats recalled because the cushion partially obscures the child airbag warning label, or the water shoes that were recalled because, get this, water makes them slippery, and who could forget that McDonalds coffee needs a warning label reminding you that you ordered a drink made out of boiling water... On the other hand, perhaps they should expand the recall list to include items that are a hazard to your mental health, for instance:

So, there I was...
Minding my own business last night, getting some dinner for the wife and I, when all of a sudden the hair stood up of the back of my neck in one of those 'something is horribly wrong' moments. As I stood in the corner of the kitchen I could hear and feel a faint low frequency vibration coming from... somewhere. I couldn't put my finger on what could be making the whole house vibrate, and couldn't tell where it was coming from, I just knew it was wrong. My first thought was that the whole house attic fan I installed last year was already crapping out with a bad bearing or something, so off I go, running to the basement to shut off the breaker. POP! with the breaker off, I start back upstairs, but as I get halfway across the cellar I can still hear the vibration... Ummmm... that's bad.... So back upstairs, I start turning things off that might be causing it... Air Conditioner, Refrigerator, ceiling fans... and still I can feel this vibration... what's more, with the house now quiet, I can hear that the vibration is strong enough to rattle the loose bits of radiator, making the faintest of noises.... Now I'm left with things I can't turn off, and I run back down to the basement and start flipping breakers. POP! water pump... still there. POP! sump pump... still there. POP! furnace... still there. POP! oven, POP! stove, POP! dryer... still there. OK now I'm freaking out... ***PPPOOOPPP!!!!*** MAIN BREAKER!... STILL THERE?!?!? Back I go to the kitchen where I can hear and feel it the strongest... with everything in the house off it's louder still, and slightly directional, towards the corner of the kitchen between the fish tank and the... kitchen table... on top of which is a Fisher Price 'Vibrating Sensations" bouncy chair!... CLICK! vibration gone! 

I'm pretty sure I need to contact the CPSC and demand that this chair be recalled for causing mental anguish in sleep deprived parents of newborns. From simply looking at it, you can plainly see that there is no warning label anywhere that it may cause parents to go crazy, or that it might cause sleep deprived individuals to believe that they are hallucinating... Granted, if you go all the way around behind the chair, there is a GIANT warning label that covers the entire back of the chair... but who looks at the back of a chair???  Besides, even if you did notice the giant warning label that told you not to put the chair on the kitchen table in the first place, nowhere on the label of this 'Vibrating Sensations" bouncy chair, does it state that this furniture could cause vibrations that may be detrimental to an individual's sanity, nor does it state that the only way to make your home stop vibrating is with the small on/off switch on the front of said chair. I mean, seriously... Who knew????

Our little Dexter man is over 3 weeks old and its blows my mind how fast the time has gone by.  It feels like we live in a time vortex and there is no time.  Yes, we notice when the sun goes down but other than that the days just mush together.  We are still living in survival mode but getting better at it.  Today for the first time sense Dexter's circumcision (they took him for an hour) in the hospital we had some time together just laying on our bed talking as the little boogie man slept.  I just enjoyed being with Devo and stretching out my legs on our bed...I have slept many a night on the couch or in an upright position due to Dexter duties (my back needs some chiro love).  We have moved to split shifts between the two of us.  One up with Dexter at night while the other closes them self in the bedroom for the night.  Its been hard but I am slowly getting better at it.  Prior to this both of us were staying up all night and being complete zombies all day and the was not useful to either one of us.  Its not like it was a choice that we made to both stay up, I think its just that we have been living in the huge 'learning experience" and you never know quite what to do.  Its been wonderful having Devon there to shoot ideas off of or to ask questions as he has more baby experience than I do but I am getting my own "on the job training". 

**WARNING: LOVE FEST**

Speaking of how fantastic Devon is, I don't think that people realize or know how amazing he has really been been in this whole new chapter of our life.  Oh let me state the ways... He was the most amazing advocate and coach at the hospital staying with me the whole WEEK only to leave for a few hours at a time to go get himself something to eat.  The poor man had to sleep on the super uncomfortable chairs in the room (granted we are happy there were even chairs for sleeping).  He helped me move around, in and out of bed and was the most gentle support system as I had my multiple daily melt downs.  We shared baby duties hand in hand and he was and is my biggest cheer leader through all of my difficulties with breast feeding and pain management.   We are a tag team at home bouncing off of each other and slowly we are forming our own routines.  He has this great ability to collect and track data (not my strength) as he applies it our adventures with Dexter and can use it to talk to our Dr's.  Again, I'm not the strongest at this and tend to go more on my gut vs. his solid data.

He has seen more than any man should see or experience of his wife's/partner during this whole ordeal and still he accepts me and loves me through it all.  I am just so thankful and wonder what I did to deserve this type of love, because I would do it again a 100 times over.

****

So I ran into town today to get some weight cut off of my hair as the humidity and heat has been driving me nuts.  Even though Devo told me to go and get some time to myself I found that I felt guilty for taking time alone.  Now I know this is silly, because I have only been away from Dexter for a few hours over his short life and he was totally in the safest hands (Devo) but in my gut it felt wrong.  I observed myself more over the few hours (something I have not done in a long time).  I noticed that suddenly reality set in; I'm a mom.  I'm responsible for someone else, forever.  Now I have played this role before baby sitting or as a camp counselor but at the end of the night and the end of the summer you say good bye and go back to your life.  This IS my life.  My life now and forever will have and attachment "Mother of Dexter".  I knew this was going to be intense and that life was never going to be the same again but honestly I didn't think it would hit me like a ton of bricks.  Things mean more now, I look at people differently now and think, "Someone cuddled and loved you and now your a person".  I have to admit its harder to see that with people who irritate me but its there.  I want to protect him and at the same time I want him to experience so many things and I do know he has to experience the harsh realities of life.  However, for now I get to snuggle him and watch his chest rise and fall (making sure he is still breathing ) and battle with the late nights.  I am also assuming that this is some type of hormonal deal to make sure we don't eat or just leave our young somewhere unsafe so the human race can continue.  Holy batman we are in for a  ride...

Remember back in high school science class when you got to play with owl pellets??? Well, Dexter has decided that if he has to eat soy, then we have to deal with owl pellets... While we were aware that switching to formula would make his poo more solid and possibly give him some tummy troubles, I guess we weren't prepared for the rapid change from runny to concrete. For the first couple days, we had "hummus poo" which was fine, and then Dexter decided to go from a poo every 3-4 hours to nearly 38 hours without a poo at all. When he finally did poo, all he left in his diaper was a little marble with about the same density as granite. We immediately took action and started adding a little karo syrup to his bottle. Later that day, he presented us with an owl pellet of similar density after a couple hours of work to get it out, but that opened the floodgates for about 30 minutes of continuous flow more hummus poo... about 3 FULL diapers worth!... Now that we're aware, we've been sure to dose him with karo a couple times a day, and things seem to have worked themselves out. 

Other than that, things are pretty much the same here... his thrush is getting better every day, although he's not a big fan of the medicine, and even less of the mouth scrubbing that follows... 
He's still fussing a lot and not sleeping all that well, but at our follow-up doctors visit yesterday, we made some changes that will hopefully improve the situation. We're now dosing him with some zantac. It'll be a few days until we know for sure whether the medication is working (we're only 2 doses in right now) but as I write this, Dexter is laying on his back on my lap sleeping comfortably, not making horrible faces and screaming like he usually does mere minutes after he lies down. I'm not going to get my hopes up too high, but it's a good sign. 

Also, after feeding Mr. Pukey Pants exclusively soy formula for the last week or so to rule out lactose intolerance as the root of the continuous screaming episodes, the only real difference we found was in his poo (and vomit)... and that other than getting enough to eat, and being satiated, his behavior really hadn't changed. On that basis, we are re-introducing breastmilk as Dexter's main meal of choice, and will use formula as a supplement just to make sure he is eating enough... As soon as we finish off the backstock of liquid soy, we're switching over to standard milk-based formula to supplement... assuming he doesn't reject it or have more digestive problems, it will make life a whole lot simpler, as milk-based formula is far easier to find, somewhat cheaper, and will hopefully bind him up a whole lot less than the soy we were using. 

I need fog lights.  I mean, mental ones.  My Subaru already has them but I need some for my brain.  The past few weeks have been a fog between the pain meds and the sleep deprivation.  I've been running on fumes and basically functioning for survival...ah the life of a new parent.  I'm ok with this sacrifice and I knew it was not going to be easy, but along the way things have occurred that I did not anticipate...and I am the queen of anticipation. 

C-section and Recovery:  Going into the induction I was aware that a c-section could happen to any mother in labor but for some reason I didn't even fathom it was going to be part of "my" plan.  Now let me premise that above all he was born safely and here with us now so all has worked out alright.  I just wonder that if I had not been induced due to my my possible blood pressure problems if he would have come more gently into this world at a later date and not needed the surgical intervention.  On the flip side he might have had the same problems and been a bigger baby. 

This was my fist experience with surgery let alone spending the night in the hospital and dealing with painkillers.  A whole new world of experiences.  I would like to state that the nursing staff on the Labor and Delivery floor of CVPH was excellent.  They took excellent care of me and even at time all of the checks became overwhelming while trying to sleep, breast feed and recover.  I did find my recovery at home much more difficult with the care of my incision and the very real fear of infection...oh yeah and trying to care of a new infant at the same time.  This was just one of my spikes on the anxiety scale.  I just wish that there had been more knowledge and education for me on caring for a c-section and recovery.  I flew blind for quite a while. 

Breast Feeding:  I'm pretty sure that every nurse and nurses aide on the Labor and Delivery floor helped me a one time or another with breast feeding.  In fact I think that one of the janitorial staff almost jumped in one day to help.  Trying to breast feed and having 20 different people tell you how to do it by their technique can be frustrating when all you need is time alone to try to figure it out for yourself.

Unconscionable Infant: Our few weeks with Dexter have been a huge mishmash of joy and frustration.  The idea of a little beautiful person who has these tiny physical qualities of you and your dearest love is profoundly amazing.  To think that my body manufactured this little piece of wonder just blows my mind.  I look at people in a very different way now.  I look at Devo and think, "wow we did this"...and then he starts to cry   I still have these feelings but they get a bit fogged when at 3am you are begging an infant to tell you what they need after you have gone through the list of basic needs...hunger, diaper, temp,..and so on.  Oh and the poor booger can't tell you a darn thing and gosh, he would if he could.  Is it the chafing down below, or the breast milk (did I eat something that is bothering him?) or is there something even worse wrong with him?  Did we break him?  Did I break him? 

So you can see why I might be a bit foggy...why I am not up to speed. 

On a happy note, Dexter had his first bath this week and loved it!  That is very exciting from my perspective because I love being in the water.  Also, Dexter experienced his first Thunder Boomer (thunder and lighting storm) and quite enjoyed it.  Devo opened up the the garage door and just sat inside with Dexter just close enough so that ever now and then he could feel a spritz of rain on his face.  He was calm and content.  He laid in his Poppa's arms and listened to the world without a flinch.  Its the little things

I would like to thank everyone for all the support, love and meals we have received over the past weeks!  We are so lucky to have such amazing people in our lives who what to take good care of us. 

• Momma Meyer and Ernie, thanks for the visit and the wonderful treats.  I wish you were closer to see him change so quickly.  We will try to keep the photos updated.  Isn't he just beautiful!  Be thinking of what you want Dexter to call the two of you.
• Uncle Seth and Aunt SarahPants, the waffle extravaganza was exactly what two cracked-out-sleep-depraved new parents needed.  It was just like candy!  I look forward to the holidays were our family's are getting larger and creating new memories.  What a great year, we acquired a SarahPants and a little boogie man, Dexter!
• Grandpa and Grandma Jacobs, thank you for the mac salad!  I know that it seemed like you could not enter the house without it, but I would have let you in either way .  The little lounge pj pants just like Poppa's and the note cards were a wonderful surprise!  The two of you do too much and I want you to know that we appreciate it.  
• Dad and Lin (Grandpa Charles and Grandma Jones), be thinking what you would like Dexter to call you.  Thanks for coming over to see him so quickly.  There was not much to look at dealing with Devon and I on a string of sleepless nights but the real jewel is the Dexter man.  Thank you for the meals pre Dexter with the lovely corn chowder (super yum!) and Dad's lasagna.  Every little bit helps!
• Aunt Maude, my fairy godmother!  Bibbity, bobbity bo!  I can not even begin to thank you for all of your support and love.  I appreciate your insight and wisdom and can't wait for you to meet you Great Nephew! 
• Aunt Damist, Uncle Jim and Aeryn, thank you for the fantastic Jrek Subs on a super hot day! 
• Uncle Jay, your company has been over the moon!  Just having another persons company during this time of craziness has been reassuring.  Thank you!  Also, thanks for the little treats you have been able to pick up for us. 
• Amykins, I don't quite know how to thank your for all of your support and your overflowing friendship.  You have fed us, laughed with us as we sat sleep deprived on the couches looking like hell (or laughed at us now that I think of it not sure which one it was ).  You have learned way too much about the goings on of the Jacob household during Baby Extravaganza 2010, not sure if its educational or scary.  Now hurry up and make a playmate for Dexter!  Kidding
• Terry and Gina, thank you for being such a great stand in for our other little furry children during this time.  We are truly lucky to have such great friends such as yourselves to step in and help us out without a second thought.  Yummy fresh fruit and veggies are always loved and if you need any baby snuggles Gina let me know!
• Crystal and Kimmy Popo, Thank you for your company and a yummy lunch!  You are the best friends and coworkers I have the honor to be connected to!  Not only are the two of you amazing teachers but fantastic and supportive friends.  Thank you!
• Facebook Community, I had no idea how many of my friends and acquaintances would step up and give us insight on life with an infant!  My mind has been blown and reminds me to not forget the simple gesture of human kindness.  Thank you! 

Unfortunately, the line in this case does not end with "... and the setting sun with the last light of Durin's Day will shine upon the key-hole "... rather, it ends with "Put 1ml of Nystatin in each side of mouth, and use a cotton swab to ensure entire area affected is coated."

On top of everything else, Dexter apparently has a case of Thrush, basically a yeast infection of the mouth. Thrush is one of those infections that looks and sounds much worse than it is. Children get thrush because the Candida Albicans yeast that causes it is everywhere, so no matter how carefully you clean and sterilize pacifiers, bottles, toys, etc., babies are still be exposed to this yeast.  One of the major contributing factors to getting Thrush in the first place is heavy use of a pacifier or bottle, which may cause the insides of his mouth to be overly moist and cracking, which provides the perfect environment for yeast to grow.

I'm pretty sure there are lemon laws to protect consumers from this type of thing... So far, we've had Erythema toxicum neonatorum, Intolerance to breast milk, suspected reflux, Heat rash, raw twigs & berries, and poop chute (due to a night he decided to poop and pee himself to sleep and not tell anyone til morning), and now Thrush. 

Don't get me wrong, I love my son to death, but do we really need to have 3 or four things wrong at a time!?!?! SERIOUSLY???? 

But then again, nobody ever said parenthood was easy.

Aside from the thrush, and still being incredibly fussy for long periods of the day (and night), Dexter was issued a clean bill of health at his two week Doctor appointment. From a health standpoint, he's perfect.

*(now if we could just figure out what's making him so grumpy all the time, and get the fur off his tongue, we'd all be happy!)

Midnight is without a doubt a poor time to be battling the challenge of breastfeeding and reading an infants needs... When you've just finished a two hour marathon feeding, and you're tired and want nothing more to go to bed, and your baby has gone beyond the point of giving you any nice quiet cues, like rooting or sucking, and his butt is clean and dry, but insists on screaming and flailing inconsolably for an hour, you begin to understand why parents shake their baby! Now, now... before you get all horrified at that comment, get a grip. We're both mature adults that long ago learned to take a step back, take a deep breath, and try something new. Walk away before you raise a hand at another human being! (Don't you shake that baby!)

We finally discovered what he was telling us around 2am... Dexter stated with great passion, that he steadfastly rejects the postulation that a 1 1/2 week old baby's stomach can only hold a maximum volume of 2-3 ounces of fluid, and was determined to have his new theory of yogurt-pringle genetic superiority published:

Posit: If you feed a pregnant mother nothing but greek yogurt, Pringles, and the occasional blue raspberry Icee for the entire time of gestation, the resulting infant, at the age of one and one-half weeks may, if he so chooses, feed at the breast on and off for nearly two hours and immediately thereafter store an additional 4 1/4 ounces of breastmilk in a secret compartment in his hollow leg. (Providing, of course, that it is NOT the leg made entirely of Chobani yogurt)

Having accomplished this feat, he was about to launch into a long-winded dissertation on how important it is to have on hand significant reserve supplies of milk when dealing with a rebellious infant with an IQ higher than both of his parents' combined, when he promptly fell asleep in a fit of hiccups and drool.